I am D.O.N.E. - as in finished!

Spoiler alert: this is not what I normally write about!

A discouraged woman

I am done! I am soooo done! Enough! I've had enough!! I'm throwing in the towel. As in D.O.N.E. I have been struggling with what to do ever since I came back from my visit with my son. I just can't do it anymore. Yes, I'm talking about this blog site. Not in the way you may be thinking though.

I have pushed and pushed and constantly strive to get the word out about my blog articles and trying to get people to read them. Yes, Christian Prepper Gal's social media presence is growing as a result, but I feel like it is all in vain. As of this writing I am just shy of 600 followers on social media and this website. That's not bad for a woman who has virtually kept to herself and doesn't know many people. The problem? There are only a handful of those almost 600 people actually reading my blog articles. That's right! The most popular recent article has only had 35 views. The majority of articles only have between 6 and 20 something views.

I'm not complaining. Not really. I'm just a bit disappointed in the ratio of the work and effort that I put into it and the results which that work yields. Don't get me wrong...I'm very, very thankful to those who are reading the articles and that I am able to help along the way. It's just that I'm working way too hard at it. My goal isn't really even about numbers. I started this blog to help others. And, if I've helped a handful of people to become aware of the need to prep and get their lives right with God, then my mission has been accomplished.

It's easy to get wrapped up in the world of numbers. Especially when you see other prepper bloggers' sites and numbers growing by leaps and bounds. But, my blog site is intended to reach a specific audience. A unique audience. Christians who are preppers. It has come to my attention that because of those numbers I have somewhat strayed away from the original intent/mission of this blog site. Which is to help other Christians to learn about prepping, encouraging them along the way, and glorifying God in doing so.

So, you see, I have been struggling. Struggling because my focus has not been where it should be. I have been focusing on numbers. Quantity, not quality. And, for that I ask forgiveness from you. I ask forgiveness from God. And, I repent of my actions and focus. From this day forward I will strive to focus on quality and not quantity. I will be a better listener to what God has to say and will rely upon His guidance for this blog site.

Therefore, I am DONE. Not with this blog site, but with pushing for numbers. Once again, I will return to my first blog love. I will focus on the mission at hand. The responsibility to reach out to others. To help others.

Why am I sharing this with you? To be honest, I'm not entirely sure. I just know that God laid it upon my heart today to write this. Maybe it's because others are struggling in their own way. Maybe it's to show that we all have things in our lives that we need to repent from and get back on the right track. Maybe it's just because I needed to humble myself in your presence. But, whatever the reason, I have been overcome with a peace that passes all understanding while writing this. It started out as a rant. Seriously. But, the more I wrote, the more I saw what the issue was. The issue was me. Plain and simple. I had allowed my flesh to take over my thoughts.

When I first started this blog site it was because I heard "If you blog it they will come" in my mind (and in my heart). I know, that sounds so cliche, but it really did happen. I wasn't even thinking about blogging or writing, it was during a Bible study prep that I got that! Anyway, I am going to go back to blogging and let God bring whomever He knows needs to hear what He has to say through me. It's not my job to get the people to come to the site and read the articles, it's God's place to do that. Whether that's by others sharing the articles and site or by Him pointing them this direction some other way. It's in His Hands. I will still post my blogs on social media, but I won't be pursuing it with the same vengeance I have been. Not even close.

Until next time...happy prepping, and God bless!

Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (KJV)