I've been in a funk

It's probably not why you would think!

A woman sitting on the edge of a pier on a lake with mountains in the background

I'm gonna be honest with you...I've been in kind of a funk for the past couple of months. And, believe it or not, it's not been because of the COVID-19 Pandemic. Well, not directly anyway. It's been mostly because I had made the decision I did to move away from my son's homestead. I so loved living there! Not solely because of the land and the views and the location, and the chickens, and all of that, but because of my son and his children being there as well.

Some of you may still be wondering why I left and moved back in with my daughter. It really is kind of a romantic story, it just hit me harder than I thought it would. I've always been very strong emotionally, but for some reason this move away from the homestead broke me down. Hard. In fact, I haven't done much of anything for my blog site or YouTube channel as a result of being so down; and you may have noticed. But, I'm beginning to rise from the depths of the water and am getting back on track now! In fact, I'm back to dehydrating and working on some new Meals in a bag recipes.

So, let's just get right to the reason I chose to leave the homestead. My son, who had been recently divorced (for 8 months) after being separated from his wife for almost two years, met a woman and instantly fell in love with her!! It truly had to be God that brought them together. I could go into details, but I won't, so as to not intrude upon their privacy. Anyway, she lives two and a half hours away from the homestead. After realizing how head over heals he had fallen for her, I knew it wouldn't be long before he would be wanting to spend more time with her, which meant he would be away from the homestead more often and for longer amounts of time. So, I made the quick decision that it would be best for me if I moved back to where I lived before my move to the homestead. Why? Because I knew that they would be marrying soon and he would be moving in with her on her homestead. And, because I'm a senior citizen with no vehicle and was living on a homestead 30 minutes from the nearest town, too far from neighbors to walk to if something happened, and I would be all alone. It just made sense to me. Plus, I didn't want him and his new found love to have to worry about me on top of getting to know one another and spending time together. So, I made the decision, and within a week, my son was driving me back to where I had previously lived.

It's kind of funny because a couple of days after I had made the decision, he told me they had set a wedding date. I was soooo very happy for them!! And, I knew I had made the right decision because who needed an old woman hanging around when they were trying to adept to each other and becoming a family? By the way, she was a widow with eight children living at home. So, there would be a lot of adapting! And, just for the record, they seem to be very happy together.

It wasn't a hard decision to make for me to remove myself so that they could be together without guilt or feeling responsible for me. But, it was a hard decision for me, selfishly, to move away. You see, for myself, I didn't want to have to make that move. And, that's why I've struggled so much with having made the move.

Well, as it turned out, approximately two weeks after I moved back to my prior home, they got married!! I was (and am) so happy for them!! They had decided to go ahead with the marriage because they were planning on it anyway, and with the pandemic, and the resulting shut downs, it was better for them to go ahead and not put it off.

Which brings me back to it being difficult to adjusting to my move. It was right before the shut downs happened and I seriously had to self-isolate for seven days when I got back here. In fact, when my son was driving me here, we were really afraid that he might get stuck and not be able to get back down to the Ozarks because things with the pandemic were happening so fast! But, he made it back, and as I said previously, they got married. I, however, was pretty much stuck at home and couldn't go anywhere. So, I had a lot of time to think and reflect. I was missing everyone, including my children and grandchildren who live close by. And, I kind of sank into a funk. In fact, I'm pretty sure it was the worst funk of my life.

Even strong Christians sometimes give in to the flesh and suffer for doing so. I was giving in to self pity and I wallowed in it. After much prayer and spiritual warfare and eventually the realization that if I had stayed on the homestead things would have been much worse for me than I had even anticipated, and that God truly did know what He was doing in my life, I began to come out of the funk. It was a slow rising though. The funk had affected every single bit of my life. It had consumed me. I think it was worse than normal because I didn't have to “buck it up” and be presentable for seeing or dealing with people; because of the shut downs and social distancing and all of that. And, because I was basically stuck at home after living in the wild and having the freedom that the homestead offered.

So, there ya have it! We all deal with things in our lives differently. And, I'm sure some of you have struggled emotionally as a result of this pandemic as well. Know that I am praying for you, and that God is still in control. Let's pray daily for His Will to be done in our lives. That's when we will begin to see the positives and not just the negatives in our lives and around us.

A new dehydrator

Canned chicken in a dehydrator
Canned chicken in my new dehydrator.

One of the things I did when I received the stimulus check from our government here in the U.S. was buy a new dehydrator. I wanted a better one that the one that I had. The one I had worked fine, but I wanted one with a fan in the back of the machine, not at the bottom of it. I was planning on buying an Excalibur, but ended up with a Cosori. And, I love it!! The deciding factor? The Cosori has stainless steel trays instead of plastic ones.

With my new dehydrator, I've gotten back on track with dehydrating food for my long term food storage and for making meals in a bag! In fact, today I'm dehydrating some canned chicken. My motivating factor for that was that all of the freeze dried foods are and have been either sold out or not being manufactured as a result of the pandemic. And, I wanted to have chicken on hand and available for my meals in a bag. Not to mention, the prices of the freeze dried foods are probably going to soar once they do come back on the market!

If it turns out good, I will do a video on dehydrating canned chicken. I also made some more cotton round fire starters (cotton rounds dipped in melted beeswax) today. You can never have too many fire starters! The cotton rounds worked great for starting the wood burner stove on the homestead. If you want to learn how you can make them, you can click on the link to a video of me making them while I was on the homestead here. And, I'm almost ready to try out my new meal in a bag (or jar) recipe, Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo with broccoli. My main reason for needing the dehydrated chicken 🙂. Once that recipe is perfected I will be sharing it with you! And, I can't wait!

If you have a moment, I would appreciate if you could say a tiny prayer for me. I know that God hears our personal prayers and answers them, but it's also a nice feeling to know that others are praying for you. I will take a moment and say a prayer for all of you as well. I want to thank you for your support and for sticking with me even during the hard (or silent) times. I look forward to meeting you all face to face some day when we are all together with Him.

Until next time...Happy prepping, and God bless!