Have you ever felt lost and alone? Not sure what your purpose on this earth is anymore? Like you should be doing more than simply surviving day to day? Welcome to my world!
I'm 64 years old and I shouldn't be feeling so lost. Oh, I'm not lost in the sense some people may think of it. I'm secure in my relationship with God and I know that He is there with me every single breath that I breathe and every single step that I take (or don't take). I mean in the sense of "why am I even still on this earth?". I just don't always feel like I have a purpose and a place. Know what I mean?
I used to have a purpose and a place. I was totally at peace with my life and filled with over abundant joy and peace. I miss that in my life. Once you've experienced that, it's hard to live life without it. But, if I'm being honest with myself (and with you), it's been over 20 years since I've truly felt that. Don't get me wrong, I've had peace and joy in The Lord, but I'm talking about peace and joy in life itself. Life on this earth. Having a purpose. Feeling like you actually belong. Peace with the choices you've made in life. Oh, I could go on and on.
I've had happiness, even had lots of moments of experiencing peace and joy, but I'm talking about living in peace and joy. In knowing that you're doing the right thing and on the path that God has set before you. Knowing that you are doing what you have been placed on this earth to do.
I suppose a lot of what I'm feeling today is due to having been retired for the past couple of years. I'm still trying to find my place in that. Still searching for what it is I'm supposed to be doing at this stage in my life. The only time I feel that peace lately is when I'm reading The Word, or writing a blog. Since I can't be doing those things 24/7, I need more. I need more purpose. I thrive on helping others. And lately, it feels like I am helping no one. Sometimes it feels as if I can't even help myself.